A broken lock will always work when demonstrated for the locksmith
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n1
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The lock will stop working the minute the locksmith leaves
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n2
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The only thing you didn't check for a malfunction, will be the source of the problem, but you won't find it until you are called back
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n3
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What ever the customer has told you to prepare for the service call will be wrong
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n4
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A dropped part will always roll to the exact geographic center of the largest available object for it to roll under
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n5
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The probability of the loss or breakage of any part is directly proportional to the difficulty of getting a replacement part
Irreplaceable parts will always break or be lost, and at the worst possible time
Replaceable parts will only become available after an important deadline has passed
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n6
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Parts that are difficult to install will freely fall out on their own
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n7
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Parts that go in easily will be extremely hard to remove, and removal will be necessary to accomplish the needed repair
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n8
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The part you will need will be the irreplaceable part you threw away last week because there are no more locks of that type around 
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n9
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The number of customers that visit your shop is inversely proportional to the number of employees you have to wait on them
When your entire staff is available no one will come
When you are there alone, everyone will come and they will be impatient
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n10
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The probability of an auto lockout varies directly with the intensity of the rain
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n11
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The length of time it take to open any vehicle varies directly with the intensity of the rain
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n12
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The length of time it take to open a vehicle or pick a lock varies directly with the number of on-lookers making fun of how long it takes you
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n13
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The length of time it take to open a vehicle or pick a lock varies directly with the number of television and move characters your customer claims can do it in only a few seconds longer or whether time just seams to drag when certain customers are around} 
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n14
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The number of witnesses available is inversely proportional to the skill you demonstrate
There will never be anyone around to see you do something brilliant
When you really screw up, you will get network coverage with a 40 share
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n15
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The probability of having someone closing a safe and spinning the dial while you have the back of the lock off will vary directly with the square of the number of people you tell not to touch the safe while you get something out of the truck. 
The probability of having someone close a safe and spinning the dial while you have the back of the lock off will vary directly with the square of the number of relockers that will be tripped. 
The more elaborate the precautions you take the more likely they are to close a safe and spin the dial while you have the back of the lock off. {Nothing is fool-proof because fools are too ingenuous} 
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n16
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The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance
You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop
They lock will always be the wrong hand and not field reversible when the job is more than 1/2 hour travel
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n17
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Any written specification you have been issued by the customer will be the old one that has since been revised
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n18
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Any lock finish or style that you have with you will not match the rest of the hardware in the building
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n19
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The harder it is to obtain matching hardware, the more the customer will insist on an exact match
If you have an exact match the customer will say " Matching isn't important, don't you have anything cheaper?" 
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n20
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When a customer has a large number of specialty locks , thast lock will require very expensive service and pin kits. 
When you buy the kits, you only get to use them one time, or you find that something you already have can be used instead. 
When you don't buy the kits, nothing else that you have will work instead, and you will have constant problems that would have been avoided by buying the kits. 
By the time you finally buy the kits your lost time will exceed the cost of the kits by ten fold. Then your customer will go elsewhere. 
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n21
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The harder you try to get to a call quickly, the more other locksmiths will beat you to it and the less likely you are to get paid for coming out
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n22
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The more difficult the customer, the more locksmiths he calls to come out
The more people they call, the less likely you are to get paid
Major ass holes call every locksmith for a hundred miles radius
They only pay the first to show up and complain about the price they have to pay, even though they were quoted that price before they told you to come
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n23
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No matter how low you bid the job there is always an idiot out there willing to do it for less
The more you cut your price to get business, the more likely you are to go out of business Your income will follow
The more you try to compete on a price basis the lower your prices will go
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n24
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The bigger your yellow pages ad is the more low priced calls from non-repeat customers you will get
Increasing the ad size and cost increases the percentage of low profit calls you get
The prize for beating out all other locksmiths for the biggest most expensive advertising in all the different yellow pages books is bankruptcy 
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n25
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The more you advertise that you have 24 hour service the more security guards and Insomniacs will call you in the middle of the night with request for price quotations
You will get angry calls from people who stopped by your shop at midnight and you weren't there even though you advertised 24 hour service
You will get calls after midnight from people who saw your 24 hour service claim and want to have you meet them at your shop immediately to cut one key on your 89 cent coupon special {On this lost Leader you lose your mind and your sleep}
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n26
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Your best apprentice will quit and open a shop across the street and cut your prices
		-- Murphy's Laws of Locksmithing n27
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